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Journal Entry: Why I Write

For A Feeling of Clarity and Order

I think life’s about addiction: we’re addicted to the vices and the copes that give us a reason to wake up in the morning. I’m hungry right now, but nothing seems appetizing. I might be a little depressed, but when it feels like the outside world is closed off to everybody and everything, and when it feels like even the ones closest to us to are closed off, it just gets really hard to want anything at all. I think I’m first and foremost addicted to The Real: the things that trigger our senses uniquely, and provoke emotions like no other.


To Be or Not To Be A Mother

It's important to hold onto somebody, or something... I think a somebody is better than a something

We spend our lives looking for The One. Or maybe we don’t: some people just want to spin on the carousel for the rest of their lives, hopping from pony to pony. But after a while, I can’t imagine how slow you’d have to be to not realize that riding most ponies is pretty similar to riding every other pony: like the saying goes, “You’re unique, just like everybody else.” I’d say your own kids are different, though, fundamentally, just because they’re partially you, down to their very DNA. You’re tied to them the way your parents are tied to you.


On Carrying Spare Change

"While time heals all wounds, I can’t imagine you wanting it to heal in the wrong way."

I always thought that carrying around sadness is like walking around with a lot of change in your pockets, jangling around as you move: sometimes you just have to dump all the change out, count it, organize it, and deposit or something. You can’t keep walking around sounding like a tambourine forever.


A Blip in a Sea of Blue

I was born and raised in Queens. I even have a patch with the name on the sleeve of my denim jacket.

In most majority-Democrat states, when you break down the voting results by county, you’ll see that each state carries a conservative presence geographically. This is a widely recorded phenomenon, and the relationship between urban areas and Leftist thought is an interesting one: perhaps it’s the increased presence of mixed cultural traditions in urban areas that often contain a greater immigrant population and a high population density. As you look at the areas approaching cities, the voting trends become bluer and bluer.


Down the Rabbit Hole

"Bouncing and bubbling between things I should and shouldn’t read, occasionally falling off the deep end and then crawling back out..."

I’ve broken out of a lot paradigms that the mainstream media seems to push nowadays, or at least I’d like to think so. I would identify as conservative, but that’d put me into a box typically associated with establishment types like George W. Bush and Mitt Romney, and that just wouldn’t be accurate. I like the term right-leaning because it’s vague and yet specific enough to suggest I’m neither an establishment Democrat nor a woke Leftist, and that’s good enough for me. I think there are many more varied groups with a right-leaning bias than the seemingly uniform political conglomerate of the Left. I mean, that’s an issue with the Left’s fixation on cancel culture, if you ask me. If there’s a possibility that you’ll be cancelled, lose your job and all of your friends if you say the wrong thing, then why even try? Why ever have a unique thought?